<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Pureblood's Venture Into Modern Childcare by slytherco</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053588">A Pureblood's Venture Into Modern Childcare</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherco/pseuds/slytherco'>slytherco</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Babysitting, But Harry Helps, Comedy, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Draco isn't Good with Children, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Kid Fic, M/M, Post-War, Softness, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, like seriously, lovestruck idiots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:21:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherco/pseuds/slytherco</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There are very few mysteries Unspeakable Draco Malfoy has not yet unravelled. Thankfully, when he's met with a challenge, Harry's there to help him face it (and maybe learn something about Draco, too).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>355</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Pureblood's Venture Into Modern Childcare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For an anonymous Tumblr prompt - "Wanna hear a secret?"</p>
<p>This is the fluffiest fluff I have ever written.</p>
<p>Thank you, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/p1013">Jen (p1013),</a> for the beta! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The two men were looming over the crib in enchanted (Harry), tense (Draco) silence. The only sounds in the room were Hermione’s footsteps, muffled by the thick carpet, and soft, little smacking sounds coming from the crib’s current occupant.</p>
<p>Draco’s boyfriend’s face was the picture of complete and utter adoration as he looked down at his baby goddaughter. She was gazing at them curiously with her big, blue eyes, half of her tiny hand in her mouth. The little babbling noises coming from her would have been <em>almost </em>adorable, if only Draco could be a hundred percent sure she wasn’t choking on her own chubby fingers. He sincerely hoped that was not the case; anyway, Harry seemed unphased, progressively melting and <em>aww</em>ing at everything she did.</p>
<p>Normally, Draco would have been captivated by the kissable crinkles around Harry’s eyes and his sweet, tender smile if he weren’t otherwise preoccupied. A feeling of trepidation crawled up his spine as he made a mental list of all the potentially dangerous items lurking in their home. Things that could prove hazardous to an infant. In the meantime, his oblivious wonder of a boyfriend played with Rose’s tiny foot clad in an offensively orange Chudley Cannons babygro, courtesy of her father.</p>
<p>And Draco, well. Draco stared. The baby stared right back, straight into his soul.</p>
<p>“Hi, little princess,” Harry cooed, chuckling as baby Rose grabbed his index finger in her tiny fist. “Hello! It’s your Uncle Harry! Yes, it is!”</p>
<p>In a moment of harrowing clarity, Draco realized that, at some point, he would probably be expected to hold the infant. What if he dropped her? Or caused some irreversible damage to her soft baby head? He swallowed, unsure what would be worse, if something were to happen: Harry’s disappointment or the torture that Hermione and Ron would subject him to.</p>
<p>“You’re staying with me and Uncle Draco tonight! Yeah, isn’t that great?” Harry gushed over the baby as she flashed him a toothless smile. “Yes, it is! Mummy and Daddy are having a night off, and we’re going to have so much fun!”</p>
<p>Could babies sense fear? Draco made another list: things he didn’t know about children. He supposed it was too late for a briefing from Hermione. They did not teach that in Unspeakable training which was ridiculous, honestly—weren’t they supposed to possess all the secret knowledge? Like how to change a diaper, or how to soothe a crying baby? </p>
<p>Draco lost the staring match. So much for establishing dominance.</p>
<p>“Draco?”</p>
<p>He jumped at the sound of Harry’s voice. “Sorry, I got—Um, lost in thought,” he said distractedly, still eyeing the unsuspecting baby.</p>
<p>“Are you nervous?” Harry grinned and took his hand, rubbing soothing circles into his palm. It decidedly calmed his nerves and also mildly annoyed him because it now felt like <em>Draco</em> was the baby. Not that he would admit it.</p>
<p>“I’m—Well. I know nothing about childcare, for one.” He shot Harry a worried look, unable to hold it in anymore.</p>
<p>“Oh, love, don’t worry about that. Hey.” Harry hooked a finger under Draco’s chin and kissed him sweetly. “I used to babysit Teddy all the time, I’ll show you everything,” he said, stroking Draco's cheek.</p>
<p>“Babies have those huge, bottomless eyes, don’t you think?” Draco blurted.</p>
<p>Harry let out a surprised laugh. “Where did you—”</p>
<p>“My daughter’s eyes are perfectly normal, thank you very much,” Hermione spoke from behind them, smiling tiredly. “The crib’s all set up, so come on. I prepared an overnight bag, it’s in the kitchen.”</p>
<p>Harry picked up the baby and all four of them went downstairs to the kitchen of Grimmauld Place 12 where Ron waited, suitcase in hand.</p>
<p>“So, Malfoy, first time babysitting?” He flashed Draco a cheeky grin. “Don’t traumatize her or I’ll come back here!”</p>
<p>Draco raised an amused brow, feigning nonchalance. “So eager to ditch dinner with the in-laws? <em>Tsk, tsk</em>, Weasley, where’s that Gryffindor bravery?”</p>
<p>Ron opened his mouth to shoot back a good-spirited retort but Hermione shushed them. She turned to Harry. “Right. Everything you need is in there”—she pointed to a large bag sitting on the table—“She’ll probably be up until the evening, just give her a bath and tuck her in. You know the drill.”</p>
<p>“I sure do,” Harry nodded, smiling. “What time should we feed her?”</p>
<p>“She just ate, so she should be fine until then,” Hermione said absently, rummaging in the bag. “Diapers, change of clothes, dummy... Ah!” She pulled out a bottle and placed it on the table. “Here’s her milk. I pumped it this morning. It’s under a cooling spell, just heat it up to room temperature.”</p>
<p>Draco’s brow furrowed, and he bent down to examine the contents of the bottle.</p>
<p>“Wait, this—Um,” he made a small, choked sound at the back of his throat, his eyes bugging a little. “It’s from…”</p>
<p>“<em>Yes,</em> Draco, it’s from.” She waved her hand around her chest in one, pointed move.</p>
<p>Harry was clearly having <em>way</em> too much fun with this, judging by his expression. “Love, what exactly do you <em>think</em> babies eat?”</p>
<p>“Well!” Draco threw his hands in the air, a little helplessly. “Baby food, obviously. And... <em>that</em>, too! I just have trouble imagining how one would go about... extracting it,” he grimaced.</p>
<p>“Thinking like a true potioneer, I see,” Ron snorted.</p>
<p>Suddenly, a very distinctive sound cut short whatever anyone else was about to say. A sound everybody was, obviously, familiar with, but one no proper Englishman would dream of naming in the presence of company. They all looked to each other and then, collectively, to a very smug Rose contentedly tucked in Harry’s arms.</p>
<p>“Did the baby just… Oh my <em>God</em>.” Draco dry-heaved and covered his nose.</p>
<p>Harry was the first one to snort, followed by Ron, who at least had the decency to glance sheepishly at his wife. Soon, their muffled laughs turned into full-blown giggles. The baby joined them, laughing in her tiny voice, just as if it was their plan all along.</p>
<p>Hermione rolled her eyes and took Rose from Harry. “Oh grow up, all of you, she’s a baby!”</p>
<p>“Mate, you may want to step back, she can rip a mean one,” Ron said. “I think it’s all the milk.”</p>
<p>Hermione shot Ron a glare that would put Voldemort himself in his place. “Diaper duty for the next two weeks, love.” Ron’s smile faltered and he busied himself with adjusting the clasps on the suitcase.</p>
<p>Draco stood next to her, still occasionally eyeing the milk bottle with sick fascination. When he looked at Harry, it was with a very similar, deadpan expression. “Oh, joy, now, there are two toddlers in this house.”</p>
<p>“Says the one who’s scared of <em>breast </em>milk!” Harry exclaimed.</p>
<p>“Well, it’s not like I have any <em>expertise </em>with breasts, you complete wanker!”</p>
<p>Ron grimaced. “Oi, enough talking about breasts, that’s my wife!”</p>
<p>“She’s like a sister, Ron, honestly!” Harry groaned.</p>
<p>“I’m <em>gay</em>!” Draco yelped indignantly at the same time.</p>
<p>“All right, we’re going!” Hermione exclaimed cheerfully. She handed Rose back to Harry, grabbed Ron and dragged him off towards the Floo. “Bye, Draco, don’t drink my milk! Bye, Harry, don’t let the weirdo spell-o-tape Rose’s eyes shut!”</p>
<p>Their friends disappeared into the fireplace, leaving Draco, Harry and Rose in the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Spell-o-tape seems like overkill, honestly,” Draco grumbled.</p>
<p>Harry laughed, adjusting his grip on the baby. He kissed Draco’s cheek and turned towards the living room. “Come on, weirdo, let’s babysit my goddaughter.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Needless to say, babysitting was not at all what Draco had expected it to be.</p>
<p>They started easy, with Harry showing him ways to properly hold a baby. Draco thought it would be similar to holding a cat, perhaps a small dog (if anyone asked, he would have insisted that size was where the similarities ended, in case Hermione was within earshot). Besides, babies were supposed to be small, weak beings, dependent on their parents for survival, right? Well, wrong. Rose turned out to be a bundle of wriggling, squirming limbs, drooling, and fussing, and moving <em>all the time</em>. He had no idea a child could be so strong and put up such a fight; she probably took after her parents. It’s not that Draco had thought babies to be like rag dolls, but it was surprising to discover someone so tiny could be such a brute.</p>
<p>“See? Just support her head, like this,” Harry adjusted Draco’s grip, ignoring Rose’s writhing.</p>
<p>Draco’s face was ashen as he prayed not to drop her, his every muscle painfully tense. “Potter, she’s clearly not cooperating,” he hissed, trying to replicate the way Harry did it earlier—more vertically, closer to his chest. The baby started whining, turning away to look at Harry and holding out her arms.</p>
<p>Draco admitted defeat. “I suppose she wants her Uncle Harry,” he sniffed. No good taste on that one, just like her mother.</p>
<p>“She just wants attention,” Harry stepped closer, smiling fondly, and stroked her soft hair. “See? Look, sweetie, Uncle Harry is right here,” he said to the baby.</p>
<p>Draco watched Harry’s soft smile and something in his heart fluttered. God, he loved him. He was perfect, bright, good, and caring, and ridiculously attractive. And Draco loved him so much, he could die.</p>
<p>Harry caught him staring; he kissed the top of Rose’s head and then, he pressed his mouth to Draco’s in a tender kiss. “I think she calmed down a bit,” he whispered, their lips still touching. And he was right; now that she wasn’t moving so much, her small, warm weight was strangely comforting.</p>
<p>He did it.</p>
<p>Well, of course, he did. Draco was known to master everything he tried his hand at.</p>
<p>“Uh,” he looked down. “Potter, why is she so sticky? Is that a baby thing?” Draco asked, frowning. Rose’s chubby baby palms looked a bit wet.</p>
<p>“Oh, probably just drool,” Harry shrugged. “I didn’t see her throw up, although they do that sometimes. You know, like a burp.”</p>
<p>“They <em>what</em>?” Harry laughed as Draco passed him the baby and checked his shirt for vomit. Which babies just <em>did</em> sometimes, apparently.</p>
<p>He was not familiar with the protocol when it came to scourgifying someone else’s baby so Draco resolved to keep the holding to a minimum.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After a few hours, Harry had to change Rose’s diaper; Draco refused to participate in the joyous event—he had had enough excitement with bodily fluids for one day. Then, there was time for her bath. Draco watched as Harry laughed at the happy sounds she made, splashing around in the shallow water. He stepped back for that, a looming presence by the bathroom door; when asked, he insisted on giving Rose some privacy, to Harry’s utter exasperation.</p>
<p>As the evening progressed, it was time for Rose’s supper (<em>“Do you want to smell it?” — “You’ll be smelling my fist if you bring this concoction as much as an inch closer to my face.”</em>). She was getting a bit weary so the three of them retreated to their bedroom. Draco was tucked into a stuffy armchair, reading a book with one eye and watching Rose and Harry with the other. Harry was walking around their bedroom, holding Rose and bouncing her happily, to the baby’s clear amusement.</p>
<p>“Hey, sweetheart, hi. Aren’t you sleepy?”</p>
<p>Draco looked up and, of course, Harry was talking to the baby. He watched Harry’s beautiful smile as he held his goddaughter and planted little kisses all over her pink, chubby face and his heart lurched in his chest, threatening to jump out. Harry Potter, his boyfriend, holding this tiny baby in his strong, toned arms, looking at her like she was the most precious creature in the universe, caring for her with all the love he had in his huge, ridiculous, Gryffindor heart. Draco never knew he was capable of loving someone this much, this fiercely. That, one day, he would readily give everything for someone. And still, his love for this man felt like a candle flame compared to the Fiendfyre that radiated from Harry at that moment. At all times. And the best part was that, deep down, Draco knew that Harry looked at him the exact same way.</p>
<p>“Rosie, wanna hear a secret?” Harry whispered to her, but his wicked smile was aimed at Draco. “Uncle Draco isn’t always this grumpy.” He kissed her chubby cheek and she gurgled happily.</p>
<p>“Uncle Draco will hex you if you keep ridiculing him, Potter,” Draco said carelessly, turning a page.</p>
<p>Harry ignored him, too preoccupied with his goddaughter. “See, Rosie? He’s just a huge softie. Yes, he is! And we love him very much, don’t we?” Draco’s entire heart grew three times bigger, and he bit back the lovestruck smile that threatened to bloom on his face. The baby seemed delighted with the attention, snorting and giggling as Harry tickled her with the tip of his nose. “And you know what else? He will never tell you that, but he farts, too—”</p>
<p>“<em>Potter!</em>” Draco yelped and jumped out of his chair, throwing his book to the side. He took Rose from Harry’s arms and held her ear close to his chest, covering the other one with his hand. “You will shut your mouth <em>right now</em>!”</p>
<p>Harry toppled over laughing. “Oh, come on, Draco, she’s a baby! It’s not like she’ll remember it!”</p>
<p>Draco sent him a murderous look. “This is not about the memory span of an infant!” He whisper-shouted. “But rather the fact that we, apparently, live in a <em>House of Lies</em>!”</p>
<p>Harry howled with laughter, trying to muffle it with his hands. He looked like a complete buffoon, with his face all red and tears in the corners of his eyes.</p>
<p>“Come, child,” Draco held Rose closer, glaring at Harry. “We shall put you to sleep now, so you won’t hear any more disgusting fabrications from this deranged man.”</p>
<p>Somehow, he forgot to stress over dropping her and to get appropriately grossed out by the big drool stain on the front of his shirt. Harry followed him to the crib with a goofy smile and watched Draco tuck Rose in, not saying a word, only watching. They stayed in the bedroom until her eyes fell shut and her breathing evened.</p>
<p>Harry was still looming over the baby, not quite able to look away, making puppy eyes as he delicately stroked her baby hairs. He glanced at Draco who wore the same lovestruck expression but his eyes were trained on Harry. </p>
<p>He took both Draco’s hands and kissed him softly. “How about some tea?”</p>
<p>“Can we leave her like that?”</p>
<p>“You’re such a mother hen,” he huffed and Draco shot him a warning look. “Hermione’s put up some monitoring spells, we’ll know if she wakes up,” Harry kissed him again and, Merlin, all this childcare had made Draco soft; his lips tingled with the warmth and affection Harry had poured into the kiss.</p>
<p>“Let’s go, then.”</p>
<p>They quietly closed the door behind them and went down to the kitchen.</p>
<p>Draco was leaning on the counter, nursing a cup of well-earned tea (No milk. Not for a long time). Harry was behaving oddly—not exactly brooding but the telltale crinkle between his brows betrayed him; he wanted to say something but felt he shouldn’t. Luckily, Draco already knew what it was—he figured it out somewhere throughout the day, watching Harry with all his guard down, wearing his perfect, beautiful heart on his sleeve.</p>
<p>“Want to tell me one more secret?” Draco smiled softly as Harry immediately turned to him.</p>
<p>He looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>Draco hummed and put down his cup. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe that you would like to have one of your own so bad, you’re practically shaking.”</p>
<p>“Well—Uh, she’s my goddaughter, I love her to bits,” Harry stammered. “And, um, I guess— I mean, yeah, maybe. Like, one day, possibly?”</p>
<p>“It’s all right, Harry,” Draco shook his head fondly. “Today was… an interesting experience.”</p>
<p>“You can’t tell me you actually enjoyed any of this,” Harry said quietly. There was a hint of sadness in his voice and Draco’s throat tightened.</p>
<p>“Oh, Salazar, no, it was a nightmare.” he hooked his fingers in Harry’s belt loops to pull him closer and wrapped his arms around his waist. “But you were there.” He kissed him, soft and slow, and Harry melted into it, holding Draco’s face in his palms.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Harry whispered.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” He brushed their noses together. “You made it look so easy, Harry, you were amazing. God, you have no idea.”</p>
<p>“Draco.” Harry’s voice was a little wet. “What are you saying?”</p>
<p>“I’m saying I could see myself doing… this. One day. In the future.” He nuzzled the place where Harry’s neck met his shoulder, breathing in his lover’s scent.</p>
<p>Harry pulled away and just stared; Draco flushed under the scrutiny. “With you,” he mumbled. “I mean, obviously. You’d just have to teach me all that— stuff.”</p>
<p>Frozen to the spot and his mouth slightly open, Harry looked as if Draco just sprouted a second head.</p>
<p>“Are you panicking?” Draco asked, searching Harry’s face. “Harry, it was hypo—”</p>
<p>In the next second, he was enveloped in a crushing hug, his lips caught in a bruising, messy kiss. Harry was not the best with words, but when he tried to say everything with his actions, Draco’s head spun. Harry held Draco as if his life depended on it, peppering Draco's face with more and more kisses, laughing breathlessly.</p>
<p>“I love you,” Harry whispered into the space between them. “God, I love you.”</p>
<p>“Not so fast, Potter,” Draco chuckled fondly. “First, you’re putting a ring on my finger.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I plan to, eventually.” Harry took his hand, interlacing their fingers, and smiled so sweetly, Draco’s body nearly turned into a puddle. His heart was hammering, he couldn’t breathe and his legs almost gave out under him; Harry Potter was planning to <em>marry him</em> someday.</p>
<p>“Also,” Draco whispered into his ear, smirking, “you’d be ridiculously attractive as a father.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Harry grinned playfully. “That did it for you?”</p>
<p>“You have no idea. So hot, and strong, and protective, dear God, Potter—”</p>
<p>He didn’t get to finish as Harry hoisted him up on the counter and snogged the lights out of him.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>